You never really know

I think in my heart, I knew that I knew the right decision. Spoiler alert: I thought the right decision was to let her go. I know that’s how my husband felt. But, as much as I wanted to led with my heart and to be logical, I continued to talk it out with our vet.

She felt that Dolly was in so much pain that her leg needed to go. She also told me that for as long as Dolly had been hopping around on three legs, she would be fine without it. As much as I wanted her to make it to Christmas with all four legs, I didn’t think she would make it to Thanksgiving. Time wasn’t on our side; it was standing over us like a dog who has to potty at 5 am.

Dolly and I drove two and a half hours to the University of Illinois for a consultation. We hoped to make it into a research study for a drug called rapamycin. It involves an amputation, four rounds of carboplatin chemotherapy, and a 50/50 chance to get into the research arm with rapamycin. That day was a roller coaster and then some. There were all kinds of variables that would throw us out of the ring. The biggest was whether or not the cancer had metastasized in the lymph nodes and lungs. Of course, none of the xrays or even blood work my vet provided could be used. So, we had to make a decision to pay big bucks for lab work that we had already done in Indianapolis. My biggest struggle was that we could use that money for treatment or pain management. And, we still hadn’t decided that we could even put Dolly through all of this.

We went ahead with an abdominal ultrasound, and the third year oncology resident was concerned. They shipped her images off to a radiologist and we left – Dolly starving because we had to withhold food for ultrasound and me in tears.

The results came back fine and we were back in the ring. Our next trip was set for the following Tuesday, and I brought my mom along for the roller coaster ride. After a VERY long day going back and forth with a new third year oncologist (aspirated speen, additional leg and hip xrays, and an aspirated lump on her front paw), I was almost completely talked out of the whole thing.  He had convinced me that Dolly wasn’t a good candidate for amputation and that we should consider radiation. I frantically called our vet for back up, but she was busy with other patients.

Fortunately, my mom kept telling me that Dr. Baker said the leg HAS to go. So, we asked to speak to the surgeon and she talked us back on the ledge. She told us that it wouldn’t be a cake walk, but that Dolly would fly through surgery. And, that while she has arthritis and a wonky front elbow, she could get around on three legs. We left her over night for three nights for the very first time ever.

Author: kburrell

Mom to new tripawd, Dolly. Hoping for a solid recovery so we can being chemo treatments for osteosarcoma. We live in Indianapolis, with Dolly's two humans brothers, canine sister, and two feline brothers. View all posts by kburrell